April is the cruellest month

When TS Eliot wrote The Waste Land, he started it all off with an indictment of a whole month. According to Eliot, April's first crime was breeding lilacs out of the dead land. I started my own April this year with an April Fool's prank.

I used to do great pranks in my classroom, but I suppose I have mellowed a bit in recent years. This time around, I went to work with no prank in mind. Before I left the house, though, I managed to fool myself. 

I usually leave my house between 7:45 and 8 am. I was cooking my breakfast as I do most mornings around 7:30 when I looked down at my wristwatch. Here- have a look: 

If I hadn't already cracked the egg I was holding, I would have dropped it on the floor. My watch was showing it to be 8:30. By 8:30, I am typically seated at my desk in my classroom, preparing for the day ahead. 8:30 is an hour after I make eggs. 8:30 could not be. 

Oh, April, why so cruel? I guess if a watch battery has to die, April Fool's day is pretty good timing. 

Ah, you got me, wristwatch. Good one. 

Later on in the day, a student asked me to help her prank her mother. I was to write up a discipline referral for a crime that never was. I obliged. I said that a very sweet and even-tempered young lady stood on a classroom table and let loose a stream of profanities that would embarrass a sailor on shore leave. All the while, I reported, the young lady pounded her fist against her chest and admonished her classmates in a display of sheer rage. I wrote at the bottom that it was an April Fool's joke. I hope her mom has the sense of humor that the child says she does. 

I'm done for now, though. Time to make some dinner and pop open the laptop. I'm certain I have work to do, and even though it feels earlier, my wristwatch says it's already 8:30.